I so long to say those three stupid, loaded words. I yearn to tell you the truth.
But I cannot. Will not.
There's someone else for you. Another who holds you heart. In time I will come to accept that, but right now the pain is just too deep. A steady slow ache that blossoms from this empty breast.
My heart is gone, given to you in secret, left behind quietly, hidden away so you won’t notice it. So you will unknowingly carry it with you always.
I try to be there for you, to be everything you need from me. Simply that, nothing more, nothing less. But it is hard. It hurts. Knowing I am right in front of you and you do not see me stings, bruises my ego and breaks my heart.
Maybe I only feel for you because you were there to fill a gap, to make me smile and help put plasters on my heart. I never anticipated you leaving an enduring mark. Never thought you would leave an imprint of your lips upon my delicate heart.
But you did, and I can't help but wonder if the cruel Gods of fate laugh at me and mock my never ending bad luck.
I want you, yet I know you will never be mine.
You asked if I knew how it felt to have my heart broken. I said no, while whispering in my head, I sighed yes, as once again the image of your face haunted me.
I want to forget your face, I want to erase these feelings, but know that I cannot, and know that even if I could I would not. For no matter how heavy the burden of my pain, I will treasure the tender moments I have with you, and vainly hope that maybe one day, instead of seeing her, you'll see me.
By then it will be too late and I will be grateful for the time I did have.
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